PHILIP ANSELMO Talks About Having To Redeem Himself In Public Eye

Neil Shumate of Out Of The Blue recently conducted an interview with former PANTERA and current DOWN frontman Philip Anselmo. A couple of excerpts from the chat follow below.

Out Of The Blue: Looking back through your life, what seems to have been your biggest setback?

Anselmo: Well, you know, the old back injury wasn't any fun, man. And still there are those days where it is fucking miserable. But I guess there is something inside you that I say builds a callous. And you just get used to it. It's a mental callous and you kind of block it out. You can't let it control everything about the day. So as far as a big setback in my life, getting injured was definitely tops, man. As strong as I did feel, I still feel strong. Don't get me wrong, there's a point in my life my life where, put it this way, hypothetically, I felt like I could just fucking leap off the ground and fly. And I'm talking fly, like strong and eyes straight-forward through the friggin' sky, like Superman. But these days when I fly, I cannot help but keep my eyes on the ground a little bit. Maybe there's a slight hesitation there. I'm not 100 percent, not like I'm in bad shape. I'm not in great shape right now, because I've been in the fucking studio for so long and that totally eats up your fucking time. But, don't fucking injure yourself. Don't ever hurt your fucking back. That's my advice to anyone out there.

Out Of The Blue: Looking the other way, what has been your biggest accomplishment in your career so far?

Anselmo: Well, you know when you feel like there is no other alternative and you feel like you're fucking trapped. And do fall into the little painkiller fucking world, which escalates into the big fucking drug-addict mess and you hit rock bottom. To climb out of that particular hole and come back after surgery, and fight back and fight back and fight back. And claim as much "face" back as you possibly can because unlike your average person, I didn't have the opportunity to group up outside of media scrutiny. So no one else can feel the pain I'm feeling and there is a lot of supposition out there. And that's kind of tough, too, but you can only handle as much as you can. So I would think that after coming out of rock bottom, not to mention all of the horrific things that kind of happened and went down, mostly including and especially Dimebag's murder; it's getting on with life. To me, all the platinum records all the number one records. All that stuff. That's great. That's fine. That's nothing I expected ever in my entire life. Whether I was going to be a rock singer or not, I didn't expect it and I still don't expect anything. Those things were and are beautiful, and humbling, and I can't even put into words what that type of stuff means to me. But still, the fact that I'm not laying around in constant pain, constantly blitzed out of my mind on some fucking potion, powder, pill, fucking crap, fucking shit that ends up controlling your life. That, my friend, is a good feeling, to wake up and know that you are you. You have your drawl backs and you still get up, shake it off and get on with the fucking day. Right now in my life, I'll be 44 this year, and to me that's a giant accomplishment right there. It really is. I can't downplay that at all.

Out Of The Blue: Going through that do you feel you have to redeem yourself in the public eye?

Anselmo: I'll tell you this. When I was all fucked up and injured. In hindsight, and hindsight's a benefiting thing. With the benefit of hindsight now, I knew I said ridiculous things, I felt like a trapped animal, I was trapped. And I lashed out at a lot of different things, said incoherent things, and mumbled my way through fucking interviews. Yeah, all that shit. You look at it and you see it, once again with the benefit of hindsight, and you say to yourself… This is not me… It's embarrassing… And it's ugly. So, yeah, there is a part of me that has always wanted people to see who I really am. Truthfully, I've never really bought into the whole rock star fucking thing. People left a bunch of heavy shit on my shoulders. What I mean by that is, you know when people say that I've benefited their lives and helped their lives out tremendously through the music that I do or something like that. Of course that's good, but once again I'm the only guy that's got to wake up in my body. With every interview and what-not, I'm not going to lie to you and I'm not going to bullshit you. I'm going to shoot straight, tell it like it is and just be a real person. Because, really, that's what I am, I'm just a real dude, man. Rock singer or no rock singer. Take it away and I'll still be me, you know? Fuck it. There is a giant positive Phillip Anselmo personality out there, of course there is. My sense of humor is absurd. I thrive on the absurd. Like we were talking about earlier, the studio situations where you have a room full of uptight guys, it's like, shit, if I come in uptight, then we're really fucked. It's best to come in with that fucking absurd sense of humor. Crack people up a little bit, let them know: "Man, this ain't the end of the world. It's fucking music, man. What would you rather be doing? Swinging a fucking hammer? Let's fucking hammer this shit out music style, you motherfuckers!" (Laughs) And we'll laugh about it. It's good to laugh, man. Keep it light, you know? And going back to your question, in interviews I try and keep it light. Even when things are heavy and serious questions are posed. It doesn't happen often, but it has happened where I'll get another guy on the other end of the line that just wants to wind me up and just see what I'll do or if I'll break the mold, or whatever, or come out of this Mr. Nice Guy routine and turn into this monster again. And it ain't gonna happen, man. It really ain't gonna happen. I don't feel the same and therefore I will not rebut in the same way and they're not gonna get a fucking rise out of me. I'm not stupid, I can fucking hear your probing questions you fucking motherfucker!... just kidding. (Laughs)

Read the entire interview from Out Of The Blue.